Archive for April, 2011
-
Reach Out to a Hooper
So while I was writing my last post, I got an email from my hoop sista, eS-Bot. I wrote to her about where I was in my hooping life and after reading what she had to say, I called her. We talked for about an hour and the more I talked and voiced my thoughts out loud, the better I felt. She understands what I’m going through, offered advice based on her own experiences. I think I know what direction I need to steer myself toward. My energy, although well-intentioned, has been focused on things that have not served me and I need to move on and focus on things that fill me, not drain me. Thank you, my beloved hoop sister.
-
Crossroads of Energy
Well, I actually got a part-time job doing what I used to do. Floor directing for a live show. I love it! Right now I can teach my morning and night classes and still work at the job. The income will go down because of more driving, downtown parking, montyly fees associated with my job. I still have unemployment for a while longer and I will receive some benefits to sort of make up the difference between what I make at my new job and what I used to make. whew! Good thing I worked crazy hours all those years!
Of course, with new things, come new challenges. Balancing a mid-day job with morning and night classes, the commute, trying to drive less yet haul hoops and being away from home and keeping up with hoop biz related emails, web things, updating classes, etc. And right now my VW Bus is having major issues and I am hemorrhaging money between fixing her, paying rent on studios, etc.
I’m at this crossroad – where to I put my energy? I had a complete meltdown as I was trying to leave to teach a class. Couldn’t find the keys that I just had in my hands not two minutes before. I was going to be late for class. Totally lost it, yelled, kicked over my cute little black leather foot stool (no damage!), heaved a cookie sheet out the door (that felt good!) but I must’ve sounded like a crazed screech owl to my neighbors and I certainly scared my cats. WTF? That isn’t how I want to be as a person. But I just lost it! It seems like my energy is so closely tied to money – probably because I’m always on the verge of not quite being able to pay my bills. I’m forgoing many of the hooping events that I attended last year because of the lack of funds and knowing I need to rebuild my engine. But those are choices I had to make and it’s not like I can’t go next year. Maybe not being among all the other hoopers is what’s making me so unnerved.
OK, so I love teaching, I love my students and want to keep doing it. Problem is that I don’t have enough students to cover the expense of running the classes. I assume that is typical when you’re starting out. I’m sort of paying money to teach. I know spring is coming and I can see that it is bringing out more hoop students. I feel I need to keep going until at least June. Maybe take a break over the summer (last summer was very slow for students) then push again in the fall. Not sure. I feel my personal practice has suffered tremendously because, frankly, I don’t make time for it. I’m teaching 5 classes a week and host a hoop jam. That’s a lot of being responsible for someone else’s hooping.
Now back to the money. I barely make rent on the studios. I do teach two classes that pay well per hour and I don’t have to rent the space but they are very unreliable. I feel like I should step away from one because of poor communication within the community center (where I teach) and it reflects bad on my hoop biz. And the two spaces I rent for evening classes are not attracting students like I had hoped. But if I drop them, I will likely lose those spaces at those times indefinitely. So the question is here, who am I renting them for? Do I keep plugging along and hope that all my flyer passing, web postings, twittering, marketing (such as it is) will eventually get to my audience? What key element am I missing? If I give up my studio space only because of money, what would that say about me? That I’m a smart business woman who knows when to cut her losses? or a quitter? YIKES!
So right now, I’m drowning in debt, am struggling with whether I should continue to teach, gaining weight through stress eating. Yep, my life is not balanced.
Gotta do some more soul searching and path exploration.
-
HulaHoopla T-shirts & Tanks